"You know what else it costs to write about and talk about consent? I’m going to be super real with y’all. It has cost me the vast majority of my relationships with men. Not all at once, but eventually, over time, one by one. It was one sexist joke too many, it was one boundary-crossing-creep-defender over the line. It was the constant microaggressions or the combination of being privileged and defensive about it and unable or unwilling to do any better. Most grew weary of arguing about feminist issues, or about the fact that I wouldn’t let them just win those arguments, even though they usually had no idea what they were talking about. They couldn’t deal with the fact that I won’t allow anyone to say disparaging shit to and about me and mine. Or they won’t or can’t do better after I explain how to do better many many times and finally I have to peace out on them for my own safety. I have at present a tiny handful of guy friends. One I get into arguments with nearly every time we talk. I fear that relationship may go the way of most of my past relationships with subtly sexist men—away, that is to say. Which is really too fucking bad. Because the truth is, I don’t hate men—I hate male privilege. I really like men, shit, I love them actually, some of them. I miss having men friends, but not enough to let the mild misogyny slide. I have got to take care of me and mine. That’s where we clash, because I refuse to just smooth things over, to just let things go. They’re accustomed to deference and I’ve taught myself to drop that habit as best I can."

Guest Post: On the costs of talking about consent - Consent Culture (via ceeainthereforthat)

(via effeminatebutchbisexual)

"

Privacy is a privilege. It is rarely enjoyed by women or transgender men and women, queer people or people of color. When you are an Other, you are always in danger of having your body or some other intimate part of yourself exposed in one way or another. A stranger reaches out and touches a pregnant woman’s belly. A man walking down the street offers an opinion on a woman’s appearance or implores her to smile. A group of teenagers driving by as a person of color walks on a sidewalk shout racial slurs, interrupting their quiet.

For most people, privacy is little more than an illusion, one we create so we can feel less vulnerable as we move through the world, so we can believe some parts of ourselves are sacred and free from uninvited scrutiny. The further away you are from living as a white, heterosexual, middle-class man, the less privacy you enjoy – the more likely your illusions of privacy will be shattered when you least expect it.

"

The Great Naked Celebrity Photo Leak of 2014 is just the beginning | Roxane Gay | theguardian.com (via becauseiamawoman)

(via thefemcritique)

"This dominant narrative surrounding the inevitability of female objectification and victimhood is so powerful that it not only defines our concepts of reality but it even sets the parameters for how we think about entirely fictional worlds, even those taking place in the realms of fantasy and science fiction. It’s so normalized that when these elements are critiqued, the knee-jerk response I hear most often is that if these stories did not include the exploitation of women, then the game worlds would feel too “unrealistic” or “not historically accurate”. What does it say about our culture when games routinely bend or break the laws of physics and no one bats an eye? When dragons, ogres and magic are inserted into historically influenced settings without objection. We are perfectly willing to suspend our disbelief when it comes to multiple lives, superpowers, health regeneration and the ability to carry dozens of weapons and items in a massive invisible backpack. But somehow the idea of a world without sexual violence and exploitation is deemed too strange and too bizarre to be believable."

— Tropes vs Women in Video Games, Women as Background Decoration: Part 2 (via jdisapunk)

(Source: femfreq, via zeeblebum)

"For every one female killer, about nine men are murderers. For every one woman who kills another unrelated women, about 30 men kill an unrelated man. The gender imbalance in the killing of same-sex acquaintances or strangers is one of the most extreme behavioral differences known between the sexes."

— David Rowe, Biology and Crime (via approachingsignificance)

(via imagesfeministes)

Tags: feminism

"You may have learned from your mother or any other hunted woman. Smiling at devils is a useful learned thing. Swallowing discomfort down in spades. Holding it tight in your belly. Ageing on the inside only. Keeping it forever sexy."

A fine art, by Yrsa Daley-Ward (via creatingaquietmind)

(Source: yrsadaleyward, via thewoodcuttersdaughter)

Tags: feminism

"

Here’s a sure-fire way to know that you hate women: when an incident of intimate partner violence in which a man knocks a woman unconscious gains national attention and every question or comment you think to make has to do with her behavior, you really hate women. Like, despise.

There is no other explanation. There is no “I need all the facts.” There is no excuse. You hate women. Own it.

Now, you probably don’t believe you hate women. You probably honestly think you’re being an objective observer whose only interest is the truth. You are delusional.

We have this problem in our discourse around the most important challenges we face where we feel we have to be “fair to both sides.” But sometimes, one of those sides is subjugation and oppression. If you’re OK with legitimizing that side in the interest of “fairness,” you’re essentially saying you’re OK with oppression as a part of the human condition. That’s some hateful shit.

"

— Mychal Denzel Smith | How to know that you hate women (via thepeoplesrecord)

(via becauseiamawoman)

"…the older I get, the more I see how women are described as having gone mad, when what they’ve actually become is knowledgeable and powerful and fucking furious."

Sophie Heawood  (via brosetta-stone)

(Source: featherfall, via becauseiamawoman)

Tags: feminism

"

Two other women, also breast cancer survivors, said their husbands left them after they were diagnosed. Both had to have mastectomies (in case anyone doesn’t know, this is the surgical operation to remove one or both breasts).

The first woman said her husband told her that he would rather see her dead than see her lose her breasts. The second woman had her operation and waited all day to be picked up by her husband, who never arrived. By nightfall, one of the nurses offered to give her a ride, and she came home to find the house empty.

Obviously, these are extreme cases of a man’s reaction to his wife’s breast cancer, but this is what I see when I see the “I ♥ Boobies” bracelets. I see love of the body parts, not the person being treated—not the patient, not the victim, not the survivor.

"

My Beef with the “I Love Boobies” Bracelets (via star-trekkin)

I will never not reblog this. So important.  (via youmightbeamisogynist)

oh my god this is heartbreaking

(via captainnipple)

(Source: politicalmachine, via gotfeminism)

"What characterizes women’s work over time is not the tasks they perform but the marginality of their work in relation to that of men."

— Historian Judith M. Bennett  (via lipsredasroses)

(Source: miss-rumphius, via lipsredasroses)

"Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman."

— Maya Angelou (via purplebuddhaproject)

(via disabledbyculture)

weyheypster:

karengilian:

misscherrylikesitdirty:

I think I might have broken my finger reblogging this. 

EVERYONE TAKE A MINUTE TO JUST APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT DONALD GLOVER EXISTS AND KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK IS UP

This is my man.

(Source: the-average-gatsby, via thewoodcuttersdaughter)

"

At the Center for Inquiry’s Women in Secularism conference this may, Soraya Chemaly gave a presentation discussing how the free expression of women online is being threatened. Part of her presentation was on the ways women are uniquely targeted, but the part that brought the most clarity to this issue for me was the section of her talk where she discussed how our societal definitions of violence are gendered.

Violence, threatened violence, and implied violence that targets men is recognized, validated, and taken seriously. These threats are real threats. Violence, threatened violence, and implied violence that targets women is not recognized. Instead it is redefined to be something else. It is a reaction to a provocation. It is an interpersonal disagreement that has inconveniently demanded public notice. It is the cost of being online. It is anything other than what it is: violence, threatened violence, and implied violence.

When we demand that misogynist harassment be taken seriously, we are saying that the implied violence and threats of violence against women be recognized in the same way that implied violence and threats of violence against men are recognized. We demand that rules regarding harassment be written to detect both kinds of threats equally. We demand that the tools to deal with harassment work as well on the abuse that targets women* as on the abuse that targets men.

"

Stephanie Zvan, ‘Are Men Reallu Harassed more than Women?’

(Source: freethoughtblogs.com)

"

History is not a long series of centuries in which men did all the interesting/important things and women stayed home and twiddled their thumbs in between pushing out babies, making soup and dying in childbirth.

History is actually a long series of centuries of men writing down what they thought was important and interesting, and FORGETTING TO WRITE ABOUT WOMEN. It’s also a long series of centuries of women’s work and women’s writing being actively denigrated by men. Writings were destroyed, contributions were downplayed, and women were actively oppressed against, absolutely.

But the forgetting part is vitally important. Most historians and other writers of what we now consider “primary sources” simply didn’t think about women and their contribution to society. They took it for granted, except when that contribution or its lack directly affected men.

This does not in any way mean that the female contribution to society was in fact less interesting or important, or complicated, simply that history—the process of writing down and preserving of the facts, not the facts/events themselves—was looking the other way.”

"

— Tansy Raynar Roberts 

(Source: tor.com)

melissiah:

-teesa-:

9.2.14

Jessica Williams is still the greatest.

(via buxombibliophile)